Week 44: Brother Bear

A Boy, a Bear, Some Happy Trees…

bears and landscapes 04

Originally Released: 2003

Once there was a boy named Kenai. Kenai had two older brothers who annoyed him so much because he was a lame little brother. But Kenai thought he was only lame because his older brother Denahi was a meanie jerkwad.

One day, Kenai and his brothers were catching fishies when a big hungry grizzly bear stoled their fishies. It made Kenai mad, mad mad! But his brothers were even mad, mad madder, because it was Kenai’s fault big hungry grizzly could reach the fishies. He wanted to get that mean old grizzly bear, but instead his older brother Sitka fell into the river. It made the sky sad…

northern lights

But it made Kenai even madder, so he got that meanie grizzly bear. And that made the sky got angry at Kenai, and then the sky decided to turn him into a bear.

transform 01

transform 02

 

 

 

 

 

Once Kenai became a bear, his world grew and got real big and became a lot prettier with more colors. The trees were happier, and the sky and mountains were happier and brighter too.  And also, he even could talk to other aminals!

But Kenai didn’t notice. He could only think how mad he was that he was a dumb old bear and he wanted to go back to being a human person. He was still a lame little brother even when he was a bear.

But then he found a littler bear and he had to help the littler bear find his way to the rest of the bears. So together they went to the prettiest land places ever, like…

bears and landscapes 02

This place where the hills are alive…

beautiful landscape 04

…and this place with a happy tree and happy clouds…

bears and landscapes 03

…and they rode furry elephants in this place…

moose and landscapes

…and then they met funny mooses by the ice…

bears and landscapes 01

…and they even got to play games with the ice rocks.

But Kenai didn’t care. He just rolled his eyes a lot because he was still a lame meanie brother. He didn’t care about the happy trees, and all the neat land places. Kenai wanted to be a human person again. And he wanted to run away from his brother who was hunting him.

revenge

But in the end, his brother didn’t hunt him and he became friends with the littler bear in the end. They all lived happily ever after in the end. The End.

angst

Whyyyyyy?!?!?!? Why did I waste my time reading that blog post?!?!? WHYYY?

beautiful landscape 03

Ok, I’m not sure what that was all about.

beautiful landscape 02

Good movie, bad movie. It is irrelevant. Just give me a ticket to Alaska this summer. Is there a hopping bear in this picture? I didn’t really notice.

 

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7 thoughts on “Week 44: Brother Bear

  1. I like it…both the film and the review.

  2. smilingldsgirl says:

    Great review. Watching it right now. Groan. Not only is the animation awkward and the voices not a good fit but he is so unlikable for so much of the movie I didn’t get invested in him at all. Kenai doesn’t even smile until an hour into the movie . Every choice they made I would have told them to reconsider…
    But seriously your review cracks me up!

    • jlwalser says:

      Thanks for the compliment! It was a different approach, and I wasn’t sure how people were going to react to it, so I am glad it entertained you! Believe it or not, there are things I do like about this movie, but your comments on your post are spot-on – Especially that bit about Tina Turner. Good grief, that was a terrible decision to include her!

      • jlwalser says:

        I will say, though, that the I spy sequence and the goats did give me cause to crack a smile. I suppose I still enjoy some juvenile humor every now and again.

  3. smilingldsgirl says:

    Boy this movie sucks. I seriously struggled to find a single thing I liked about it. The childishly drawn 2D looks strange on the deep canvas, the voice cast does work, the songs are underwhelming and Tina Turner? Another bizarre choice. The lead character is so unlikable I just didn’t care what happened to him. It takes him 1 hr and 2 minutes to smile in the movie. The humor is awful. I just thought it sucked. Thumbs up to your review though! I put a link to it in mine because you are more witty than me. http://54disneyreviews.wordpress.com/2014/10/03/movie-44-brother-bear/

  4. anii654 says:

    What a lame ass movie with the worst character for a main character. They try to be epic, but something went wrong……a lot went wrong.

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